Poison Darts

So, if you know me, you probably know that I often wish I was a CIA agent or some other special ops-type job. "I'm pretty sure I could kick anyone's butt...once." I'm actually quoting myself when I drove a bunch of my Young Life girls into inner city Philly last summer-at night. Nevermind the fact that I've only shot two REAL guns, I mean "weapons," in my life. The first-blasted the snot outta a pumpkin! YEAH! The second one had a laser beam on it, and I freaked out and couldn't even shoot it. So, yeah...good thing I have a fall back plan. You don't often need weapons as a stay-at-home mom. Until...tonight!

Tate and Dallas began this nerf gun war. "Mom! Do you want to play?!" Me: "NO! You're having plenty of fun with Daddy!" Well, I was caught in the crossfire one too many times, and that was IT! (At this point, they had abandoned the guns and gone straight to throwing bullets, I mean, darts!) So, we're launching bullets at each other. Tate's hitting me point blank--IN THE FACE! NO MERCY, I tell ya! And, I'm missing my target left and right. I would have been dead about 37 times at which point I found myself saying, "I'm not as good as being a special agent as I thought I was!"

Next thing you know, Dallas invents this game called "POISON DART." Rules: Throw darts at your opponent. If you hit their limbs, they cannot use them for a minute. If you hit anything else, they can't use it for a minute. So, Naomi grabs a dart and hits Dallas's butt and says, "DADDY! YOU CAN'T USE YOUR BUTT NOW!" Hmm...what a shame.

After a little while, I must admit, the game got completely outta hand. Tate was found to have handfuls, I'm talkin' 17-30 darts, running up and just plastering you with them...and he's a GOOD SHOT! Dallas was a sweaty mess, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a couple nerf dart sized bruises on my face tomorrow. Game over.

So, my dream of kickin' butt and takin' names is slowly drifting away...