Sunday, October 30, 2011

Weekly Word~God is on His Throne

I've been struggling with some things lately and haven't been able to put them into words, but I think I have finally gotten to the bottom of things and come to my conclusion, which is this:

God is on His throne.
He is my life, my source, my strength.
I will trust Him.

So, our dossier is officially in Ethiopia. Can I just say that getting the email from our agency congratulating us on this big step made everything suddenly very...real? I mean, YES! We have put our blood, sweat, tears and a dent in the car trying to compile this dossier with the intention of bringing home two new family members from our beloved Ethiopia, but we are officially waiting to be matched with TWO new children! This is so TOTALLY out of my hands, it's ridiculous!

This same week, our agency also noted that they are officially changing the expected wait time for a single child over the age of two from 4-8 months to 6-12 months. Right. We're not waiting for ONE, but TWO. That being said, our wait time is officially "Well over twelve months."
No biggie, right? Wrong.

Onto more "good" news from our agency...they also informed us this week that when the oldest document in our dossier is 2 years old, we must begin RE-DOING our dossier. As in, the entire document that just took us EIGHT MONTHS and hundreds of dollars to compile would need to be REDONE! At this news, (I'm not going to sugarcoat this) I lost it. I wanted OUT...and QUICK! I redo this document. That sounds MORE THAN HORRIBLE to me. No.

Enter the Enemy.

As we know, Satan will take every opportunity to strike where we are not fully covered with the Armor of God, and oh...he did. OH. HE. DID. He used this "opportunity" to throw in some serious concerns that I have and made me question this entire thing. I have essentially been living in fear for the last two weeks, and it went something like this: We received the aforementioned information from our agency, and then my fear of losing Dallas and being a single mother of FIVE crept up, and I did not know what to DO with that fear. It was constant, ugly, scary! I still have not gotten over it. I don't know what to do with it. I am not sure if there is any truth to it, but I know it's there.

So, flash forward to today...I've been thinking, praying, praying, praying...for the last two weeks or so, and I have come to this conclusion:

I could lose Dallas. Dallas could lose me.
I am okay with the path that HE designed FOR ME!
His ways ARE BETTER than MY WAYS!
HE plans to make me a woman who is more like His Son!

...and I want whatever HE has for me!

It's all for His glory...every last bit.

Right now, I SAY that because it's what I KNOW to be true. I am still very fearful. I still DREAD having to redo our dossier or ANY PART thereof! None of my concerns have been reconciled. I just know that God is on His throne, and I am not. He will shape me into who He wants me to be using the most perfectly designed lessons for ME. I KNOW some of these lessons I DO NOT WANT to have to endure. There are trials and temptations that I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH, but when I come out on the other side refined as pure silver, I will choose to say, "Glory to God."

"The LORD has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all...Praise the LORD, all his works everywhere in his dominion. Praise the LORD, O my soul"
Psalm 103: 19-22

Thursday, October 13, 2011


Our Dossier is officially IN ETHIOPIA!!!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Weekly Word~Carry each other's burdens

I've been busy in the middle of a Beth Moore study, and I haven't had the extra time to spend on "my own" quiet times, but what HAS been happening in my life is teaching me a lesson none-the-less.

I suppose I've always been sheltered from death. I mean, I've been to two funerals in my entire life, and I hadn't even met the ladies whose lives I celebrated. I took a class in college called "Death and Dying." Right. That class was horrible. I actually had nightmares every Wednesday night for an entire semester because of that class! I've lost family members, but they were never family members that I was close to, so I mainly mourned for my parents more than for myself. Don't get me wrong. I have lost in my life. I've lost BIG TIME. Someday I might even tell you about it, but I've never personally lost through death. We stared death in the face for awhile, again, a story for another time, but God, the Great Healer...healed.

Is that why my spirit is grieved when I find that someone ELSE has lost? We have a great friend who lost a brother several years back, and honestly, I love this friend like he was my own brother. I actually think that I physically grieved on his behalf. Romans 12: 15 says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn." I wondered if my grieving his great loss relieved (somehow) a small amount of his burden. After all, Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other's burdens..." I imagine my friend carrying a heavy load, and me walking up next to him and taking some of his load. Now we're both carrying a heavy load, but his load is a little bit lighter.

It was Homecoming weekend in our small town last weekend. The whole town celebrates and shows up for the game. Faithful Alumnae show up in droves! It's a lot of fun! But for me, it becomes a time of mourning, because having worked with so many of the high school kids, I know what horrible choices they will be making. God inevitably will put one or two of them on my heart, and my spirit just weeps for them. This was compounded this year, and by Sunday, I had totally dried up. But God doesn't let you off that easily...come Sunday, I ran into a sweet Sister-in-Christ who is going through a trial...a trial that no mother could possibly even begin understand, and my spirit just broke for her. You know those burdens, the ones that aren't eased by bringing over a meal? The ones you just don't have words for, but maybe a hug will communicate your sorrow? I'm not a crier, but I lost it. Leaving church, I ran into some dear friends who thanked me for bringing several meals to a dear Brother-in-Christ whose wife was taken suddenly to be with Jesus last Spring. Again, I lost it. And THEN, I ran into another Sister, who asked me about some of the high school kids at Homecoming...I left sobbing.

Isaiah 61: 1-3 says,
"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has annointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."

Did you get that?
...bind up the brokenhearted
...comfort all who mourn
...provide for those who grieve
...bestow a crown of beauty instead of ashes
...the oil of gladness instead of mourning
...a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair!


Luke 6: 21 says, "Blessed are you who weep now, for YOU...WILL...LAUGH! (my obvious emphasis there) God will raise you UP!

Don't misunderstand me here. THERE IS A TIME for mourning! Ecclesiastes 3:4 says, "...[there is] a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance." To me, this says that there is a healthy amount of time in which to spend mourning, but IT IS OKAY to continue on. IT IS OKAY to laugh and dance again! GOD IS NOT FINISHED WRITING YOUR STORY!

I was talking with a friend of mine a week or so ago, and he said that he had a "sad joy." I explained to him that I understood. You know why? Because there is a difference from being happy and being joyful. circumstantial. JOYFUL is an underlying joy in Jesus...even when life is sad, painful or tough. I think of my dear friend whose husband cheated on her and left her with her beautiful daughter. Oh, she mourned...and I was right there with her, but she continued (and still does) to sign off all her letters, "Love and Joy in Jesus." Oh, how I love that lady. She has shown me so much. She is a perfect example of Psalm 30: 5, "...weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."

We have a Hope, dear friends.
Our Hope does NOT disappoint!
We are promised:

"...He (God) will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying of pain, for the old order of things had passed away." Rev. 21:1-4.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

How's YOUR day going?

Woke up this morning and ran some sprints on the treadmill:
1-I hate sprints.
2-I hate treadmills.

Got the kids off to school, made a cup to tea...

...Turned around, and found this:

Let me explain... This little
...and spices.

I don't know...roll with it.

Turned around, and found this:

I have no idea how that cup did not break from the fall.
Must be the engineering in my Pottery Barn rug.
...I love that rug.

Last, but not least, I found this:
That's my new toothbrush she's holding.

And, after removing her from the sink, I found this:

Yes. That IS spraypaint.
Thank You, Jesus! THANK YOU for making childproof spraypaint lids available to man!

I just love that little redhead!